Bit of a daily diary thing. Not very interesting.
Today I have mostly been useless. Actually, it occurs to me that I have been pretty useless since therapy. Someone is leaping up and down inside with anxiety over How Much We Have To Do but I can’t bring myself to actually translate that to action. Tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow I’ll do stuff.
No, let’s reframe that. I haven’t been useless. I have stopped someone spending money on pretty, shiny things (crystals that have magical power and are essential to my spiritual development!). And tarot cards. Yes, there’s currently an obsession with tarot cards. Not just using them, but collecting them. It’s the old familiar “must have one of every possible variety of a thing”. Not sure what that’s about. But I won out, and nothing has been ordered, though I sense someone is probably just waiting for their moment.
I have also expended considerable energy pointing out all the reasons that a house we’ve seen may not be “meant for us!” however much it is “interesting” and “unusual” and “an artist’s house”. Because any house the estate agent actually admits is “in a very basic condition!” is likely to be pretty damn bad (bohemian and romantic!), and I do need to be practical about these matters. (I can just see I’m going to end up living there *sigh*)
(A tarot reading was done about the house. As the card that signifies “what you are aiming for” we drew Death. I found this quite funny. Oh if only).
And I have been to the shop. Twice. Once to get food, and then again this evening to get beer. I should have just got beer the first time, but I was still under the illusion I might do something useful with the day. Given up on that idea now.
*ponders why I’m able to write here, but not in the notebook that is supposed to be everyone* Must be something to do with presented selves. Being easier to cope with than actual ones. Like I would weep if I sat down and confronted myself and everything that’s been going on within me recently, but since I’m blogging I will spin a few wry words out of it. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I guess it’s a survival thing. Can’t have too many of those.